My “Unsuccessful” Birth {no.such.thing.}

As a doula I’ve met with a lot of clients who’ve told me they want to have a “successful birth” or have told me that their first birth was “unsuccessful” and they want to be “more successful” this go around.

Let me just say something…

EVERY.BIRTH.IS.SUCCESSFUL.

Whether you planned for an un-medicated birth and ended up with an epidural or you planned for a vaginal delivery and ended up with a cesarean…
Your birth WAS successful. If a baby that was inside of you, came out… you were successful.

I’ve struggled a lot with my idea of “successful” birth.

After a “failed attempt” at a natural, intervention free birth that ended in 35 hours of misery, emergency respiratory intervention for my baby, and lots of physical and emotional healing afterward, then a late term stillbirth… I had lost all hope in my body’s ability to “successfully” give birth to a child.

What I failed to realize is this…
While neither of those deliveries was what I had wanted or what I had planned for I SUCCESSFULLY delivered those babies.
They came out of me.
I did not fail at birth.

I’ve listened as women share their birth stories with me through tears and devastation that they’ve “failed”.
I’ve stood beside women as they cry and grieve that they’re choosing to get an epidural after a long hard labor has gotten the best of them because they’ve “failed”.

This has to stop. It absolutely HAS to stop.

Social media has become a platform for women to discourage one another and argue about what makes a good mother. And everyone knows that motherhood begins with birth… {catch my dramatic eye roll here}

Your birth is YOUR CHOICE! If you choose to have an un-medicated birth, an epidural, or you schedule your c-section for convenience… It’s your choice.
My job is to make sure your know your options, are supported in your choices, and are confident that you are making the right decision for YOU and your family.

If I hear one more woman tell me she failed or was unsuccessful in her birth… I might explode.

I encourage this… Think about your attitude on your birth experiences and find all the things that went right. Focus on the fact that you did in fact bring a human into the world. Think about the fact that YOU. WERE. SUCCESSFUL.

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**I would love to share more birth stories on the blog! Please email me with your birth stories so that we can share and celebrate the differences in our successes**

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