I woke up Monday morning and checked Facebook…
{yeah… don’t…do that. just don’t}
I immediately felt discouraged and defeated and like nothing I do is worth while.
{self-esteem isn’t my forte… obviously}
You see, I have this dream of doing something important. I want to make a difference. I want to leave an impact on this world.
I, like basically every other human I know, have a deep need to be someone.
After my pity party I got up, got the girls up, morning routine, and we went out to run some errands.
During that time out we saw some friends, got some groceries {and E got a book}, went to the bank, and we went home.
We got home. I worked a bit. I made lunch. I helped Eden get into her Princess Belle dress while she watched Beauty and the Beast. Lydia climbed all over things and I’m pretty sure she ate some paper that I didn’t get from her in time. I worked. I did a load of laundry…
{which needs to be put in the dryer… laundry isn’t my forte, either}
I got the girls down for a nap. I attempted to nap. But I worked instead.
I thought about all the dreams I have. The ones I’m not accomplishing. The ones that I feel like I’m failing at and haven’t even started yet.
Girls woke up. Husband came home for dinner. Husband made dinner. {Yeah, I THAT lucky!}
After dinner I played with my little ladies. Then my sweet E asked to go outside and sit on the porch… alone.
My immediate response was, “What?! Why?! Why can’t I come with you?!” Instead I just asked, “Why?”
She said she just wanted to think. So she took her little “shawl” {it’s scarf she insists is a shawl} and sat quietly on the porch
As I stood behind her, I thought, “What in the world could she be thinking about?”
After a few minutes she came back in and I asked her if she enjoyed her time and what she was thinking about.
“I’m just glad you’re my mom. And Lydia and Daphne are my sisters. And Daddy’s my dad.”
Then she snuggled into me really close and said “You’re the goodest.”
{consider me melted}
Okay… so why share this with you?
Here’s why…
My day started with me feeling like a failure and really continued that way.
But my four year old showed me that in the mundane daily tasks of life, the unglamorous, the down right gross… I do important things. I make a difference. I leave an impact. Even if it’s JUST in the life of my own children. They are the mother’s of the future. They are learning from me. If I’m constantly seeing myself as a failure and tearing myself down, that’s the example they see.
When I complain about my figure, my lack of skills, my not achieving goals… they hear that.
When I take time to focus on them, encourage them, teach them… they hear/see that.
We shape our children. I want to shape them to love big and care deeply. Not to live in defeat and discouragement.
I am “the goodest” mom for my children. You are the goodest for yours.
Rather than focusing on what we’re not, right here and now… Focus on what you are. A wife, a husband, and parent. A HUMAN with flaws but with the ability to grow and learn and be the “goodest”.
We’re on a wild journey… but we’re on it together!
