Often times you’ll hear the labor and birth process likened to a marathon.
It’s something a woman builds up and prepares for.
She muscles through every. last. second.
She puuuuushes through to the very end.
While all of this is true, I will say that a marathon requires only a runner.
The runner may have people watching and cheering for them, but they don’t actually help the runner outside of “Go, go, go!!!” and “Faster! You’re about to pass ’em!” {does anybody say that?! I probably would}
Birth on the other hand requires a team.
It requires working together to a common goal.
It requires not only words of encouragement and affirmation but also physical assistance.
A woman may work hard and prepare for this championship round, but she NEEDS her team.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that a woman can’t have a baby on her own {if that’s what she really wants}, but she needs to know she has a team to support her in the birth she’s working towards.
I’ve been to many births where a partner makes themselves comfortable on the couch or chair in the room, settles in and dabbles on their phone or reads a book or sleeps!
I’ve been to many a birth we’re I’ve heard, from the the person in the chair in the corner of the room, “Uhg, I’m tired! How much longer will we be here?”
This is when I usually say something like “Hey! The cafeteria is open, why don’t you take a break and grab some food.” or “You’re welcome to head home and we can let you now when things are getting close…” because the last thing a laboring woman needs is the burden of feeling like she’s causing someone else discomfort or inconvenience. It can completely derail what she’s focusing on.
As a doula, my job it to be a constant presence in whatever capacity the laboring mother needs. Sometimes that makes family members feel like their presence isn’t needed. On the contrary, I recommend everyone in the room to have a job.
Foot Rubber – Washcloth Wetter – Picture Taker – Water Getter
While these tasks may seem mundane, all of these things are not only helpful but needed.
If you are given the honor of being present for a birth, I encourage you to ask for a job.
Ask to be involved somehow.
I promise your work will be appreciated and you will have the great satisfaction of knowing that you were able to be part of the team that helped to bring a tiny human Earthside.
What a great role you’ve been able to play!
So… what’s your position on the birth team?
